You're Not UGLY, You're LAZY!
I can prove it.
Let’s strip—literally. You’re not ugly. You just haven’t put in the work.
Ugly or unattractive—however you define it—it’s not who you are. Beauty is subjective, but feeling undesirable? That’s often the result of neglecting yourself for too long. The way you walk, the way you talk, the energy you carry—it all plays a part in how the world perceives you.
So strip! Take everything off. Clothes, makeup, every layer you hide behind. Stand in front of the mirror and really look at yourself. What do you see? What do you want to improve? Make a mental note. Because as you read on, we’re tackling it all. No more neglect. No more excuses. This is where your transformation begins.
It’s time to turn self-criticism into self-empowerment.
In today’s Loom:
The Power of Presentation– Why the way you carry yourself changes everything.
💧 Skincare, Hydration & Glow-Up Science– The formulas that keep your skin plump, fresh, and youthful.
Style & Body Language: Instant Attraction Hacks– The silent signals that make you stand out.
The Pretty Girl Complex: Gatekeeping & Lack Mindset
Wellness & Inner Beauty: It Shows– 🌿 When you feel good inside, it radiates outside.
Rituals & Consistency: The Ultimate Beauty Hack– Your transformation isn’t a one-time thing—it’s a lifestyle. 🔁
A Challenge for the You– Ready to commit? Let’s put it to the test.
The Power of Presentation
First impressions and aesthetic energy matters. The way you present yourself to the world is a direct reflection of your mood. The best part about moods, are no matter how similar to the next person you may be, the energy behind that mood will be different. Unpack your energy. Let go of anything that feels negative, or simply gives lack vibes. For instance, you know damn well that one t-shirt you have in your closet doesn’t fit, the collar is stretched and it’s a bit dingy — get rid of it. Oh you thought this was going to be all about your face, huh?
Grooming, posture, and body language are apart of being attractive. Let be backtrack a bit, because don’t you dare read this and think this is about attracting a romantic partner — you need to feel attractive from the inside out first, otherwise you’ll be attracting the bottom of the barrel, no good, run your credit through a brick wall type of partner because that lacking energy is easy to get. YOU DON”T WANT EASY, YOU WANT EFFORTLESS a they are not the same.
Get up and organize your authentic self. Start with your hair and work your way down. Your hair is essentially your crown and it shouldn’t looking a hot mess, right? I mean, unless that’s the look you’re aiming for, but still, messy hair should be intentional! The real way to be true to yourself is actually finding what works, FOR YOU. This is about learning yourself, and unlearning not so great habits you’ve become accustomed to. What products are best for your hair? And NO, you don’t need a CALI-Slick back, or a 30 inch bussssssdownnnn, or baby hairs… you need hair loving products that you know how to use — to maintain your hair health and style on your own.
Now we can talk about your face. Let’s face it (see what I did there), our faces are not that unique when you think about the DNA combo given to us. Our faces are blank canvases and we have to understand our features. IDGAF what you look like, but I do however G.A.F about skin. Your skin should be loved on, and if the skin GODS were to whisper in your ear, I bet they would say something along the lines of “most people are insecure because their skin isn’t what they want it to be”. You see, you can wear clothing to cover up skin blemishes, but you face, nah, it’s outside!
Start you glow-up today be implementing one small shift!
Gather all of your grooming products for your hair, and your body.
Next write down your hair and skin concerns.
Then, go through each product, look at the ingredients, and note if they address your skin hair or skin concerns.
Last, get rid of the products that are simple just products, and keep the products that are essential for your glow-up.
Because, why are you hoarding products without benefits anyway?
Skincare, Hydration & Glow-Up Science
Hear me when I say effortless beauty is a myth — even the prettiest girls do the work.
If you don’t feel pretty, get that out of your thought process. If you’re quick to compliment someone on their looks (that’s nice, keep doing that you unselfish person you), take notice of why you’re giving the compliment in the first place. I’d guess it was how that person carried him or her self. After you noticed that light hovering around them, I’d bet money you unintentionally noticed their posture and then they actually face. Did you just lose a bet? Gimme my money babe! Lol!
No, but seriously, we’re typically wired to instantly be attracted to how someone presents themselves before even checking to see if we’re physically attracted to them. Which leads me to my next point because I got a bit off track.
Video Credit: KirahOminique
The prettiest people have insecurities like everyone else, they just put in so much work to not allow anyone to be like “hey bitch, you have a zit on your face”. They will walk around in braid daylight with a yellow star pimple patch before they allow you state the fucking obvious. That’s pretty. It’s a presentation of confidence.
OMGee sidetracked again, I was getting at why your skincare could boost your confidence. Pretty people love golden hour, right? It’s the perfect time to showcase their doughnut glazed skin that oozes hydration and skin filter. If you want to start feeling pretty, tap into your skincare ASAP.
Hydration & Skincare Rituals = the Glow-Up Science. That’s your cheat code!
Drink Water & wash your face with your skin loving products. If you can’t get it correct at home, put down a few Starbucks and use that money to visit a dermatologist or an esthetician. No excuse, beauty technically cost a bit of money.
Here’s a few of my blog post that deep dive into skincare and Products you may want to give a try:
Style & Body Language: Instant Attraction Hacks
Let’s be real—before you even open your mouth, your presence is already saying something. The way you carry yourself, the energy you walk into a room with, and even the way your clothes sit on your body all play a role in how people perceive you.
The good news? You don’t need to be conventionally attractive to turn heads. You just need presence. And that’s something you can curate, enhance, and master.
Your Style Speaks Before You Do
Listen, style isn’t just about wearing designer. It’s about intentionality. Does your outfit tell the world that you’re put together, or does it scream “I got dressed in the dark”?
Here’s how to instantly level up your style:
Tailoring is Your Best Friend – Clothes that fit correctly will make you look like money, no matter the price tag. A $50 blazer that fits like it was made for you > A $500 blazer that looks like you borrowed it from your uncle.
Signature Pieces = Effortless Confidence – Find that one thing that makes you feel untouchable—whether it’s gold hoops, a slicked-back bun, a leather jacket, or a bold lip—and rock it consistently.
Shoes Set the Tone – Your shoes dictate how you move. Want to feel powerful? Try a sleek boot or structured heel. Want to radiate effortless cool? Crisp sneakers or a classic mule. Your shoe game is energy.
Stick to a Color Palette – Some of y’all be throwing on every color in the crayon box like it’s an Olympic sport. No. Keep it simple. Dark neutrals, earth tones, and sleek monochrome fits? Timeless.
Yes, I love color but this ain’t about that and I’m trying to give you a basic blueprint before getting all wild with your wardrobe. It’s levels to this!
Posture & Body Language: The Ultimate Attraction Cheat Code
Before someone notices your face, they notice your presence. And presence is all body language, babe.
Move With Intention – Walk like you belong in every room. No rushing, no fumbling. Shoulders back, head up, and let your steps be deliberate.
Eye Contact is Everything – Holding eye contact (without making it creepy) instantly makes you more magnetic. A little smirk? A soft blink? They’ll remember you.
Hand Gestures = Engaging Energy – When you talk, let your hands naturally emphasize what you’re saying. It makes you look animated, confident, and engaging.
Smile Like You Know a Secret – You ever notice how the most intriguing people don’t do a full-blown cheesy smile? Instead, it’s a slight smirk—like they know something you don’t. That’s the energy.
(PC: Pinterest — Different ways to elevate basics in your streetwear styles)
Instant Attraction Hacks to Apply NOW
Slow Down Your Movements – Rushing kills elegance. Move smoothly, adjust your clothing intentionally, take your time taking up space.
Wear Scents That Linger – A subtle but memorable fragrance will have people thinking about you hours later. Find a signature scent that becomes a part of your presence.
Own the Space You’re In – Whether you’re standing in a room or sitting at a table, take up space. Uncross your arms, relax into the moment, and own your physical presence.
Mirror Their Energy (Subtly) – People are naturally drawn to those who reflect their vibe. Slightly mirroring someone’s energy and mannerisms makes them feel connected to you without even realizing it.
Confidence isn’t a look—it’s a feeling. But your style and body language? That’s how you show the world who you are before you even speak. Master these, and you’ll have people wondering why they can’t stop looking at you.
Now, go stand in the mirror, adjust your posture, and tell yourself: "Yeah, I look good." Because you do.
The Pretty Girl Complex: Gatekeeping & Lack Mindset
So you’ve probably noticed it—the girl who walks into a room, and everything just seems to align. The lighting hits her just right, her hair falls perfectly, her outfit is giving, and everyone stops mid-conversation just to track her movement. That’s Pretty Girl Complex (PGC) in action.
It’s the silent social advantage that comes with being conventionally attractive, but it’s not all glitz and glamour. Some girls leverage it, some struggle with it, and some are straight-up prisoners to it.
Let’s break it down.
The Pretty Girl Complex Archetypes & How They Show Up
1. The "Effortless Beauty" (or so they make you think)
These are the girls who act like they just woke up like this, but behind the scenes, they’ve perfected the art of maintaining their appearance. They invest in their skin, hair, nails, and gym routines, but they downplay the effort to keep the illusion alive.
Example: That girl who swears she only drinks water for clear skin, but her bathroom counter looks like a Sephora aisle. She’ll say, “Omg, I barely do anything to my hair,” while secretly having a bi-weekly silk press standing appointment and a full Olaplex lineup.
Reality Check: No one is mad at maintenance, but let’s not pretend it’s all genetics.
2. The Gatekeeper of Beauty
This is the girl who thrives off being the only “bad one” in the room and subtly (or not-so-subtly) discourages her friends from leveling up. She might withhold beauty tips, discourage you from trying new styles, or keep you in a fashion rut so she remains the standout.
Example: She’ll be the first to say “Not everyone can pull that off” when you try a bold lip or a new hair color. Or she’ll side-eye you for dressing up “too much” while she’s fully glammed in an outfit she planned three days ago.
Reality Check: A confident beauty shares the game, not hoards it.
3. The "Pretty But… No Substance"
This is the girl who relies solely on her looks because she’s never had to develop anything else. When beauty has always opened doors, why bother sharpening any other skills?
Example: She’s in a room full of people, but the conversation flatlines after two minutes because she has nothing to contribute beyond her presence. She’s the girl whose bio is just 🌸✨💕, and you can already predict the "Get ready with me" videos that say absolutely nothing.
Reality Check: Pretty ages. Charisma and substance keep you in the room.
4. The "Trapped in Her Beauty" Girl
On the flip side, some pretty girls feel like their identity is tied to their looks, and that’s a different kind of struggle. They fear aging, gaining weight, or anything that threatens their desirability because their social value has always been in their appearance.
Example: She won’t leave the house without a full face and a fit, because even on casual days, she’s expected to look like the standard. If she gains 5 pounds or her hair isn’t laid, she’s lowkey spiraling.
Reality Check: When your self-worth is tied to your reflection, any shift in appearance feels like a crisis. It shouldn’t.
So, What’s the Lesson Here?
Pretty Girl Complex isn’t just about looking good—it’s about the mindset, pressure, and game that comes with it. If you aren’t conventionally attractive, you might’ve felt the social hierarchy that beauty creates. If you are, you know that the expectations can feel suffocating.
Either way, the real flex is balance:
Knowing your beauty is an asset, not your whole identity.
Not relying on “pretty privilege” as your only ticket in life.
Being a girl who adds value beyond just a face card.
Helping other women elevate instead of gatekeeping the game.
Because at the end of the day? Being beautiful is nice. But being captivating? That’s power.
Wellness & Inner Beauty: It Shows
Listen, you can’t fake real glow. No amount of highlighter, lip gloss, or contour can replicate the radiance that comes from inner peace and self-care. Your skin, energy, and overall aura are direct reflections of how well you take care of yourself—inside and out.
Food is skincare. Nourish your body with hydration, whole foods, and vitamins. Your gut health is the blueprint for your glow.
Movement matters. Pilates, walking, or even stretching daily can change how your body carries itself.
Mental health = beauty. Stress shows up in breakouts, dull skin, and tired eyes. Protect your peace as much as your skincare routine.
When you feel good, you look even better. Your wellness is your best beauty product.
Rituals & Consistency: The Ultimate Beauty Hack
Pretty isn’t magic—it’s maintenance. The most attractive people aren’t just born that way; they have rituals that keep them looking and feeling their best.
Morning & night routines matter. Glowing skin comes from consistency, not random “self-care days.”
Signature habits = effortless beauty. Hair masks on Sundays, ice rolling in the morning, body oil after showers—small rituals add up.
Style is a lifestyle. Looking put together daily isn’t vanity, it’s discipline. Find a go-to uniform that makes you feel good every day.
The girls who “always look good” aren’t lucky—they’re just consistent. Build rituals that make beauty second nature.
A Challenge for the You
Enough reading—it’s time to act. The difference between feeling stuck and stepping into your glow is effort. So here’s your challenge:
Mirror Check: Stand in front of a mirror and identify three things you want to improve—whether it’s skincare, posture, or overall presentation. No negativity, just self-awareness.
Declutter & Upgrade: Go through your closet, vanity, and bathroom. Toss out anything that doesn’t serve you—old clothes, expired skincare, products you don’t even use. Make space for your glow-up.
Commit to One Ritual: Pick one self-care or beauty habit to implement this week. Maybe it’s a 5-minute face massage, drinking more water, or finally figuring out what hairstyle actually suits you. Stick with it.
Confidence Practice: The way you carry yourself is everything. Every morning, practice standing taller, walking with intention, and making eye contact. It’s a small shift that changes how people perceive you—and how you perceive yourself.
Now, tell me—what’s the first thing you’re changing? Reply to this L’Heirloom. Let’s hold each other accountable.
Love this, as it is so true. When you put a bit more time into yourself, and allow that confidence to shine through you..it's like you glow. I remember when I first started exploring my style when I got into college, and that was the best decision I ever made. I would go to 8 am classes, in fun artsy outfits a couple of days out of the week, and I'd do it again haha! But do I need to drink more water...yes, yes I do.
Love all of this! Thank you :)